Where do I begin? I have been grappling with this somewhat intellectual voice inside of my head that happens to try and tell me that this is how it wants to sound and where and when it wants to sound that way is not aligned at all with this whole meaningless blogging crap. I have been looking at many blogs as I research the impact of this digital place and age over the last ten or so years of existence, I guess, yours and mine. People would perhaps see me as a bit eerie, just as I saw this one Christian lady's blog if I were to present myself as she has. Primarily, the reason Christians sometimes give me the heebeegeebeez is that they urgently state aloud the announcement that they are in fact Christians and therefore they represent Christian people. Now, this whole representing groups through one's actions and relationships to a group as members of any given group really, _______X member of X group is some serious hairy territory. I say hairy because one person cannot essentially represent an entire group. Not entirely anyway, however, people's identities are important to them because they represent groups. That is what I mean by hairy, it is quite a paradoxal concept. Until I read what blogger Christian lady really had to say, I was very very apprehensive of her existence based on her online profile considering what I know about Christians, let us say, who are vibrant about their religious identities that is... Thing about blatant identifiers that are linked to any part of one's identity is that readers, for example of blogs will skip an entire blog on account that they want to relate with them as inherently human and not because of any particular aspect of one's identity. This is true of any author who belongs to any group that they would like to acknowledge so that they may authentically describe a subjective perspective. Representing the group one belongs to and doing it in such a way that feels true is always a dilemma. This is because the reader comes to the table with their own versions of what any given group may seem like whether that perception is just or not is a different story. Strong believers, members, and authors of any given group must learn to kind of ease their way in (as I will do in this piece as it develops further) and this is something that I am barely learning now as an intellectual voice trying to share with a community of readers and simply just posting things, blurbs, thoughts, ideas, and pieces of myself!
I have in the past and present found it amazingly spooky, eerie, and foreboding just how many people are serious about the whole beliefs thing and the whole believing that they are Christian thing. I mean do not get me wrong, I totally respect people's beliefs, I have even felt more respect for people I have met that knew exactly what they believed in. This is simply because they seemed so firmly rooted, grounded, and compelled to be themselves. But there is something spooky to me about people who must make it a point to announce that they are Christian. I mean if religion becomes one of those identity things (particularly those religions that are intertwined with race and ethnicity, assuming the most significant to people about these things becomes heritage, right?) (see how that is merely an assumption based on my own subjective ideology that heritage is important, something that has formed in my head and has besome a part of my identity for many years, not at all the case for many if not all of my siblings) (BIASES ALERT) wouldn't those who announce their Christianity be equivalent to those who may feel so inclined to announce their ethnic backgrounds, genders, or the most obscure of all one's class? No one ever announces their class. Just imagine if people announced these things as much as I am witnessing that people announce that they are Christian?
I would be like,
(I know mine would be ridiculously long and explanatary)
Hi, I am Mexican American, (you can use Xicana to classify me, I will allow it) I agree with the ramifications, female, heterosexual (perhaps with bi-sexual inclinations every once in a while) presently exploring the belief systems closer to those known to Atheists and Agnostics but somewhat open to the spiritual renaissance of my possibly Aztec, indigenous, and Native North American ancestors whose beliefs have been pretty much annihalated in our past post modern day, these past post modern conditions, after the implementation and use of Christianity during the spread of manifest destiny an ideology used to justify the slaughter and genocied of Native North Americans and I am sure other Natives who covered the rest of the American continents (but I will never really know because I am the descendant of a colonized people including a race that barely just emerged four to five hundred years ago when the Spanish decided to create 'la raza cosmica' now known to the global community as Mexicans a derivative classification born from the old pronunciation and word for Aztec known as the Mexica... Not to mention; that the Spanish migrated around forty to sixty thousand Nigerian African slaves (through the North Atlantic Slave Trade of Imperial times) which the Spanish mixed and integrated into the new cosmic race as a product and function of a highly elaborate governmental policy and practice called the Spanish caste system in New Spain later called Mexico (much like another historically known caste system geographically found and practiced in Southeast Asia and implemneted in South Africa as well by Brittish imperialists), so more than likely, I also have Black ancestors depending on what part of Mexico my parents and grandparents originated from not even six hundred years old there, I will never really know what parts of my ancestor's history may or may not be true including whether or not I am really a descendant of these people considering it is harder to trace one's heritage when one comes from a mixture of colonized populations) so forgive me if I am still exploring what my true beliefs are but that is where I am. And I am very certain that the process, recovery, and implications of colonial histories as my own may take some people like myself (subjectivity alert)(offset of potential bias may be inserted into ego alert) a little longer to find exactly who they are; considering they must somehow excavate their foundstions through thourough investigations, soul searching, and ongoing inquiry on such subjects as post colonialism, economics, anthropology, sociology, psycholinguistics, world literature, and religious studies among a few. Therefore, I am perfectly fine with still exploring and searching until I find a spiritual sect and life that feels like me! So far, I have found that I do have a belief in the idea that some of my ancestors sort of protect me and look after me. It is how I have reasoned a sound explication for my having been born despite the ancestrial rapes, genocides, and colonialization that my bloodline comes from. On the other hand, I am also white, because some of my ancestors were the imperial rapists therefore, I get why I am here.
I would be like,
(I know mine would be ridiculously long and explanatary)
Hi, I am Mexican American, (you can use Xicana to classify me, I will allow it) I agree with the ramifications, female, heterosexual (perhaps with bi-sexual inclinations every once in a while) presently exploring the belief systems closer to those known to Atheists and Agnostics but somewhat open to the spiritual renaissance of my possibly Aztec, indigenous, and Native North American ancestors whose beliefs have been pretty much annihalated in our past post modern day, these past post modern conditions, after the implementation and use of Christianity during the spread of manifest destiny an ideology used to justify the slaughter and genocied of Native North Americans and I am sure other Natives who covered the rest of the American continents (but I will never really know because I am the descendant of a colonized people including a race that barely just emerged four to five hundred years ago when the Spanish decided to create 'la raza cosmica' now known to the global community as Mexicans a derivative classification born from the old pronunciation and word for Aztec known as the Mexica... Not to mention; that the Spanish migrated around forty to sixty thousand Nigerian African slaves (through the North Atlantic Slave Trade of Imperial times) which the Spanish mixed and integrated into the new cosmic race as a product and function of a highly elaborate governmental policy and practice called the Spanish caste system in New Spain later called Mexico (much like another historically known caste system geographically found and practiced in Southeast Asia and implemneted in South Africa as well by Brittish imperialists), so more than likely, I also have Black ancestors depending on what part of Mexico my parents and grandparents originated from not even six hundred years old there, I will never really know what parts of my ancestor's history may or may not be true including whether or not I am really a descendant of these people considering it is harder to trace one's heritage when one comes from a mixture of colonized populations) so forgive me if I am still exploring what my true beliefs are but that is where I am. And I am very certain that the process, recovery, and implications of colonial histories as my own may take some people like myself (subjectivity alert)(offset of potential bias may be inserted into ego alert) a little longer to find exactly who they are; considering they must somehow excavate their foundstions through thourough investigations, soul searching, and ongoing inquiry on such subjects as post colonialism, economics, anthropology, sociology, psycholinguistics, world literature, and religious studies among a few. Therefore, I am perfectly fine with still exploring and searching until I find a spiritual sect and life that feels like me! So far, I have found that I do have a belief in the idea that some of my ancestors sort of protect me and look after me. It is how I have reasoned a sound explication for my having been born despite the ancestrial rapes, genocides, and colonialization that my bloodline comes from. On the other hand, I am also white, because some of my ancestors were the imperial rapists therefore, I get why I am here.
Now, that would get tiring for someone like me to have to repeat over and over again. If I mention the preceding italicized words on every blog post I decided to post can you imagine how many people would simply skip my piece of writing once they saw ethnicity or gender or orientation? But take you for instance <yeah, you, right there, reading this, you're a homophobe but yet you are reading a bisexual woman's blog> JK... sorry, I am bird walking now. I am not serious...
See, would you be laughing so hysterically if you had skipped this blog? and lets lets I know, I have some ego, thinking I can make you laugh when you expected to cry with such a title as The Absolute Tragedy... c-a-r-r-y o-n...
See, would you be laughing so hysterically if you had skipped this blog? and lets lets I know, I have some ego, thinking I can make you laugh when you expected to cry with such a title as The Absolute Tragedy... c-a-r-r-y o-n...
Now, back to this whole announcing your Christian thing. Yesterday, I was watching Richard Reich's Inequality for All and this laborer very sternly says he is Christian as he introduces himself. Then he begins to contribute to the discussion of unions and the anti-union sentiment that emerged between the late nineteen seventies and now by ginormous corporate leaders and climate, once he spoke I realized where his disconnect was... But back to my Christian blogger lady... I can even understand those religious Christian folks who post a Bible verse, because lets face it, although, the Bible is often used to confuse and manipulate folks in heated philosophical debates, moreover, Bible verses are also often used to support an argument that creates a stronger emphasize on why one chooses to be Christian? Is this not another defense mechanism? Perhaps. Are these people who announce they are Christian defensive about their own beliefs because when I come across such folks, I actually become much more skeptical on the whole religion thing. The problem I have with this skepticism and prejudging of people who announce so diligently that they are Christian is that I am being a straight up Biggot when I do this. And if I am going to practice the doctrine of Dr. Rev. Martin Luther Jr. which states that "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere," well, then I must call myself out when I am standing from a perspective that may potentially advocate injustice, bias, prejudice, discrimination, anything ending in -ism, basically. If I recognize "it" <it being the bigotry> as something I can change about myself, well, then, you are d*mn skimpy that I will be changing myself regardless of the challenge of such an insidious and ubiquitous change because I will be trying to unlearn something. The most scathingly problematic type of change that a human being can endure is any change that is habitually motivated due to the nature of its embedded psychology in the mind.
Subjectively, I must learn that I have zillions of presumtions about other people merely based on all the information that my brain has accumulated over the years. This information is a collaboration of my own personal experiences and the ideas that I have percieved from the world around me. I have struggled with Agnosticism and Atheism for years. These are labels I use because Christianity is not an option for me, I am a recovering Christian I believe. Okay, most interesting point about this conversation, (if anything interests you at all here) is that I am contemplating these things after coming across a woman's blog who first placed her Christian Identity on the page like a sore thumb, which actually grabbed me into reading a little more. Because either despite my bias or because of my bias (who knows? couldn't truly tell you because the mind is a strange thing) I was immediately drawn to and felt compelled to read. Once I began reading I realize that this woman spends the entire time complaining about her role as a Mother and Wife, and simply blogging about her utter misery due to her excruciating painful pregnancy as she seems to be describing Rosemary's Baby. Not only was this a surprise to me (that her blog was one having to do with gender issues and perhaps even gender inequality), considering that I assumed I would be reading about this woman's Christianity influenced ideas and prejudices but I actually found myself judging her writing and descriptions as somewhat witty and entertaining considering her sarcasm alone (which was brilliant), but I felt myself unearthing some of my more bias stereotypes regarding Christian folks. I kind of felt that I was a bit of a biggot in that moment that I found joy in her miserable conditions because that is what conventional married Christian women get, just like it says in the Bible after humans have fallen from paradise woman must be punished for having fallen with the eternal duty to experience pain in child bearing. And that was the moment that I stopped myself and metaphorically slapped myself upside the head for being a damn B-I-G-O-T! (as you continue to read start counting how many assumptions and prejudice statements I make against Christian folk. And do comment to discuss my bigotry. I really want to change that will you help me human kind? also notice the positive things I say about Christian woman blogger's writing and website design :)) Then I went on to search for more blogs and come to find, a lot of Christian folk are a little way too conventional for my stamp of approval because to me the confinement of conventions scream out "red flag, this person may be a biggot." I liked how that particular woman's blog that urgently allows the blog audience to know she is Christian did so on her page because it was almost as if she was putting up her little pregnant hand and warning those who dared to continue to read about her life to please take into consideration that she is Christian and in accordance with Christianity she represents the positive principles therefore you, as her reader, must not judge her for the venting she must had felt compelled to post to the public world. Because regardless of being Christian or not this Christian blogger lady is also HUMAN. And she struggles with everything humans struggle with but perhaps through her beliefs and spirituality she copes with the challenges and that is why she is proud to post to the world that she is Christian. She feels comfortable with her identity is all, and I should probably stop judging her and people like her who feel comfortable disclosing parts of their identity to the world. Almost as though she uses her Christianity as a shield-flag to calm the reader down since she was dealing with the institution of: marriage and family that happens to have emerged out of a Christian tradition. I mean I am sure marriage has existed outside of Christianity as well in the old old times... But lets face it, in our Western, turned global world it is the Christians that seem to want to dominate and define the way in which the institution of marriage functions in our society. And that is not the only thing that Christians want to be in control of, same reason why I think the religion is creepy, eerie, and sometimes even terribly and absolutely tragic. <this I have found evidence of so I don't consider it a bias, I should say, however, that this is definitely not all Christians> But either way, I know that the latter of my statements are again part of my own biases I have of Christians altogether, and I understand that not all Christians are bad. After all, I do have best friends that are Christian, you know. And my Mother recently converted, painful for me to witness but I respect it.
The tragic absolute-like way our minds interpret the world with the constant static of biases and subjectivity saturating every interaction lies in the fact that there are so many folks out there that do not know of each other and are rather afraid of each other despite that if they did know each other they may very well get along wonderfully, and fully agree with what one another has to say about their sole human conditions. That my dear virtual worldly friends is the absolute tragedy of the way that we function as humans here on Earth... You know globally and what not...
